Toxic: Tackling 'Razor'and Finding the Real Me

Neil Ruddock describes his poisonous path of self-destruction in this enlightening and inspirational memoir. It was paved with food addiction, a decline in self-esteem, and a risky drinking habit that drove him to the verge of suicide. His portrayal of the larger-than-life football hardman, dubbed "Razor," evolved from being a logical extension of Ruddock's image into a security blanket designed to hide all feelings and moods. The laughs ceased when his front door closed. He was hopeless and depressed. Football institutionalised him. It was strictly forbidden for him to discuss his innermost thoughts or to acknowledge that he had mental health problems. In a startling series of admissions, Ruddock describes how he lost sight of who he truly was. He does this with his signature comedy and harsh honesty. 'Razor's mask and a big night out' were his go-to answers, regardless of how he felt. Ruddock has undergone dramatic stomach surgery and pacemaker fittings, but he has also shed nine stone, hit the reset button on his life, and found the strength to break free from the limitations of the person he believed he had to be in order to become the man he always knew he was. In Toxic, the story of Ruddock's struggle to change into a new person is told. He no longer feels the need to pretend to be someone he's not. "I'm half the man I used to be, but twice the man I used to be," he declares now.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Neil 'Razor' Ruddock tells the inspiring and uplifting story of how he faced the battle of his life: to become a different person. 

ISBN-10: 1035419548
ISBN-13: 978-1035419548
Hardback: 306 pages
Dimensions: 156 x 240 mm